There I was sitting in the Planned Parenthood office waiting for the final verdict, “Am I” or “Am I Not?” I knew I was already guilty for having sex, but I never fathomed the magnitude of the consequences that unprotected sex would bring. Sure we used contraceptive foam, condoms (a few times), and the infamous “withdrawal method.” Unfortunately the first two methods, if not used properly and consistently, have no chance of being effective. The later method is like shooting a bullet in the air and hoping that it doesn’t fall down. It’s most likely to fall back down due to gravity and the bullet will either damage something, injure or even kill someone. Just as there is a law that says, “What goes up, must come down.” There is the law that God and followers of Christ live by and that’s the law of, “Sowing and Reaping.”
Just a few minutes later my verdict had been reached. I was pregnant and I was only 14!
I sat on the edge of the bed next to my mom preparing myself to tell her this earthshaking news. I was experiencing a gnawing pain in my gut and overwhelming thoughts running through my mind.
“I wish I would die.”
“My mom is going to hate me.”
“She’s going to stop loving me.”
“I ruined my life.”
“I’m such a horrible person!”
A few weeks later we found out that I was four months pregnant. That was the second time I ever saw my dad cry, the first time was at his mother’s funeral. As my aunt and I walked ahead of my dad and my stepmother, my aunt asked me one simple question, “Do you love your brother?” I quickly answered, “YES.” Then my aunt replied, “If you kill this baby, it will be like killing your brother.” Because I had such a deep love for my brother who was almost 1 yr old at that time, I choose not to get an abortion.
That decision was not an easy one and it most definitely was not the decision my mom had for me. I must also confess that the next time I found myself pregnant I made a different choice but I will cover that in another blog.
It was 29 years ago when I decided to keep my baby. I persevered through several years of challenges and struggles. I graduated from high school and then from college. I held a full time job and paid my way through college. I earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Life Sciences at the age of 24. God was with me every step of the way and I didn’t even know it then!
I just want to encourage those who may be a teenage mom, a teenager who may be pregnant, or a parent of a pregnant teen. Don’t loose hope! I will not lie and say how devastated I would feel if any one of my four daughters were to get pregnant at a young age let alone to be having sex!!! However experiencing the many physical, emotional, and mental challenges of raising a child when I myself was a child, there was one thing I did not experience. I did not experience the support, acceptance, and love from my mom.
As parents we naturally want the best for our children and when they don’t follow the plans that we have for them it could be devastating. But have comfort and know that God Can and Will work all things out for their good, and Yes yours as well.
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 (NLT)
On November 28th my son will be 29 years old. He is a wonderful husband, father, and a minister. He truly is a Man After God’s Own Heart. I am so proud and blessed to be his mother.
God is so good. He can take you from some of the darkest places in life and bring you to a place of light. HE IS ABLE!!!!!