The gentle waves swept along the sand. They danced over the rocks and beat against the pier. Seagulls soared in the distance while several other of their winged fellows sang above my head. The sun shone bright that morning while the cool and crisp wind blew all around me. Physically I was in a place of peace and tranquility, a place where you could taste the calmness and beauty of God’s creation. But deep within my heart I was full of torment. My soul was in a pit of despair longing to crawl its way out. The voices of guilt and shame were tormenting my mind.
This was not a question about my purpose in life. No, this was a question regarding my choices. If I called myself a “Christian” then why am I not leading a life that demonstrates that of Christ? Why am I still doing the things I did before I was saved?
That particular morning about fifteen years ago I took a day trip to pour my heart out to God. I found myself in another adulterous relationship. Yes…another one, and my third one to be exact. Once again I fell for the lie, “We’re in the middle of a divorce.” But this last time I knew better. Once I started insisting on seeing the divorce papers I was already emotionally involved. Although I knew it was the right thing to do, I struggled to end the relationship.
The struggle with sin.
We all deal with sin one way or another. I have found myself struggling with sin in times when I was in deep pain, when I struggled with my identity and self-worth, and when I was trying to fill a void. The choices I made were fueled by my desire to deaden the pain, find myself and convince myself that I was worthy, and to fill a void that I in addition to others, were incapable of filling. I did everything I can think to do in order to have control. But with each decision I made I found myself out of control.
Some of the biggest struggles in my life have been with dealing with my identity and worth. “God if I am worth it, then why do those I love abandon, abuse and not appreciate me? Why do they treat me this way?” If you have asked yourself questions like these be encouraged for you are not alone and there is ONE who has the answers you seek.
I believe the answers were given in the biggest display of love ever portrayed in all of history.
Such a gruesome image however it is powerful. It’s a demonstration of our worth. What Jesus endured for us, should help us in the struggle of questioning our value.
GOD SAYS YOU ARE VALUABLE!
GOD SAYS YOU ARE WORTHY!
I must confess that I do struggle with these two truths from time to time. It is at those times that I am focusing on how others are treating and saying to me, that I lose focus on what God has done for me and has told me. I also struggle when I fall and choose not to do things God’s way. But (without giving excuse to sin) I remind myself of this scripture.
“But God clearly shows and proves His own love for us, by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 AMP
So don’t beat yourself up for failing. Ask for forgiveness, turn from your sin, and ask God to help you in your struggles. God is faithful, loving, and merciful and will forgive you. He will even go beyond that and forget your sins.
“I, only I, am He who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake,
And I will not remember your sins.” Isaiah 43:25 AMP
So like Rahab, she and myself lived a life and made choices God did not like. BUT God redeemed her and God redeemed me. He saved her family and He saved mine as well!
What he did for Rahab and myself…HE DID FOR YOU!!!!
So wave your scarlet cords to demonstrate the Mercy and Love God has for you and the Sacrifice Jesus paid because you truly are….
Father I pray for the person reading this blog right now. Soften their heart so that they would repent of their sins. I silence every accusing voice that would cause them to carry shame and guilt. I pray that they would experience your mercy and receive your forgiveness. Let the truth of your unending love, enduring mercy, and unfailing compassion be ever so engraved in their hearts and minds. Help them to walk in freedom and liberty and not shame and guilt. Let them never forget that they are Loved, Valuable, and Worthy! For you Father paid the price through the blood of your son Jesus. Praise and Glory to You our Father!!
In Jesus’ Name. AMEN!